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Body Language amidst social norms

DORAI RAJ S N

Introduction

We as people have different inherent and self-developed traits that we use in our

social and work related interactions.

One such soft skill is body language. To be successful and influential, we need to learn

to use or even improve our use of body language and necessary etiquette.

Various aspects of body language such as personal appearance, facial expression, eye

contact, open and friendly countenance, posture, gesture and use of personal space,

all can make a difference in our influence and impact in social and work related

interactions and experiences.

Body Language communicates confidence, interest, enthusiasm, attitude (such as

frankness, seriousness and sincerity) and social skills in a meeting. This skill is also

Important when we don the role of decision – makers seeking to develop a business or

find right solutions for a corporate/organization.

Etiquette in work places or social gatherings can help us leave a positive impact and

thereon achieve our goals.


Today we need to practice new social norms like hand hygiene, social distancing, covering our noses / mouths with masks, does all this change our confidence, interest, enthusiasm, attitude?


Non-verbal role

Unknowingly we exhibit different roles via our body language and ensuing

active or passive interaction. These roles can be categorized into being

1.An unbiased or biased evaluator

2.A critique or appreciator

3.A motivator or de-motivator

4.A confidence builder or being demeaning

5.An interested or disinterested listener

6.A connected listener or seemingly disconnected

7.A positive role player or distracter or one who makes you self-conscious

8.A friend or unfriendly entity

9.Open-minded or being judgmental

As average individuals factors 7, 8 and 9 are important for most of us. For people to

like us it is important to seem friendly and open-minded in our interactions. With the

health crisis in 2020, what is most important is to be friendly and open-minded about

social norms and social distancing that different people may expect from us,


Friendly body language


Friendly or open-minded body language does mean that we need to exhibit certain

characteristics in our facial expressions, our posture, our gestures, our eye contact or

our intent to appreciate good qualities.

a. Facial expression and eye contact

To seem friendly one must smile whenever relevant and not show dislike on our faces

even when one does not like something. One must remain balanced in our eye contact

and not seem demeaning or prying. It is true that many can read warmth and

friendliness by looking into another’s eyes.

b. Positive or active listening

To be a friend, one must always be approachable, actively listen to show appreciation

or even positive disagreement. We sometimes must only listen without showing

visible dislike or disinterest.


c. Dressing to the occasion

To be friendly or to seem connected & concerned, one must also dress to the occasion

that is in the event of a formal meeting, informal get together, celebration, death, loss

etc

d. Posture and gesture

To be friendly or warm, one must sit in a straight, open-to-interact or less

overpowering manner. One must shake hands when appropriate, pat the other’s

back, or nod or even raise one’s eyebrows to show appreciation.

One must not use one’s hands inappropriately or show anger via one’s hands or eye

contact.


e. Use of personal space

To seem friendly one must understand and respect the personal space of the other

people in question. One must not extend one’s hands nor stretch one’s legs so as to

reduce the space available to others.

One must also not bend down without prior intimation or look up in a manner that

is inappropriate to the other depending upon their posture or dressing style.


f. A new periodic function that can make a difference


With the health threat in 2020, we cannot practice some of the earlier body

language influencers, so it becomes important to decide the periodic nature

of one's interactions.


f.1 If we are to meet people for the first time

In case we are to meet people for the first time, we must first seek

permission to practice certain body language norms.


If we are not sure, then we must explain our norms to the people

we are meeting and always mention that we are amidst change.


As the influencer of Facial expression and eye contact may not

be as before, we must express ourselves in a friendly and interactive

manner. If we could win people with our smiles before, today, we need to

win them over by trying to understand what is their smiley frequency.


This means one must say things like "this makes me smile, makes me

understand, makes me want to express more etc". It is always important

to mention that "what the other person has said does bring a smile to

one's face".


It may be important to share a picture of yourself with

good facial expressions, to enable the eye contact factor to work despite

social norms like masks, transformations that make it difficult to

make meetings and social interactions truly realizable.


f.2 If we meet people again and again

If we meet people we know frequently, then we need to

understand what makes machines likeable to us.


We like technology or machines if they serve our purpose,

but as humans the understanding is not to like people only

if they serve our purpose.


Amidst the social distancing norm, one may out of reason or

specifically focus on purpose of every interaction, leading to

non-likeability more than the social warmth that builds up

with each meeting.


To make each interaction purposeful, we must try to transform

interaction to open ended realizables. Conclusiveness should

not depend on the social norm but it should rely on the need to

understand the interaction and social support that emerges from

our interactions.


Our purpose should be to relate to what the person must be managing

to meet us or interact with us. We must accept mutual attitude (such as

frankness, seriousness and sincerity).


We must make a difference in whatever manner we can without forgetting

that healthy lifetimes are our tomorrows but the need of the hour is to

incorporate a new periodic to our body language and social suitability.


All said, the new threat will test the base of our inner metallurgy, where this

means do we have the elements (the smiley composition) that can reduce

loss of time for all what has happened.

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